- Play it Safe
The best strategy is to play it safe during the toast. The toast should be well prepared, simple and brief and should have no information of a personal or intimate nature that might embarrass the married couple, their families or the guests. The wedding is a solemn moment, the most important day of many people's lives. The key participants are taking it seriously....so should you.
- Winging it is not a good strategy
Everyone knows you're human and nobody expects perfection. Besides, most people really don't want to be up there anyway. With that in mind, remember there are several tactics that will help you in proposing a toast. Give some thought to what you will say. "Winging it" is not a good strategy, particularly if you are nervous or unsure of public speaking like most people. If you know you will be asked to give a toast, jot down a few notes beforehand. You might even practice the toast in front of a friend to get his reaction to what you say. As for last minute decisions during the event, just try to relax and say something complimentary. And keep it short.
- One important tip
Get the bride and groom names right. I recall a wedding where the best man called the bride by the name of the groom's old girlfriend. It was just a slip of the tongue and everyone laughed it off. But that example does serves as a lesson for why it's important to rehearse a toast if you have a chance and know everyone's proper names.
What if you mess up unintentionally? People are forgiving, just laugh off a slip of the tongue and move on without embellishing your slip. Even with the current practice of anything goes as the norm for wedding events, old fashioned rules of courtesy are a good safety net.
The traditional rules of etiquette have survived for a reason. They might not be trendy, but they have kept people out of trouble for a few hundred years and can do the same for you.
Traditionally, the best man offers the first toast. It's considered polite for everyone in the room to stop drinking and hold their glasses in anticipation of the toast.
Additional toasts, such as the groom honoring the bride or the parents, are completely acceptable. Just don't go overboard with too many toasts which detract from the special significance of the ones that really matters.
Fear of public speaking often makes the task of toasting daunting. People put a lot of pressure on themselves. Just try to relax.
Watch how much you drink. The old saying is "loose lips sink ships" and nothing loosens lips faster for some people than over indulging at the no-host bar. Alcohol lowers the normal inhibitions that might otherwise keep you from saying something really stupid that you will regret later. Rule of thumb here is that you have had too much to drink, keep your mouth shut.
What if the wedding guests include a lush about to open his or her mouth? If the thought of what the guest might say makes you cringe, get a friend to help keep him/her at bay. It should be someone who knows the person well and who will save them from ultimate embarrassment of him or herself and the embarrassing the people in the room.
If asked on the spot to give a toast, think once, then twice about what you say and how you will say it. Conservative decisions stand the test of time and offer the least opportunity for embarrassment. Remember this, what is considered cool at age 25 may not be acceptable at age 55 or older. What you say or do at a wedding will be etched in people's memories forever.
Do it right and enjoy the evening.
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